A True Reflection-Post Production

 A mail from daughter to mother.(an extract)

"The year that could mark the starting of the troubles I have been giving you.The first that I will be spending away from you. And there are a few things I would like to say.

From here on, I don't know how my life is going to pan out but I know that I will be fine. I know that because whenever I have been hit with circumstances, the decision making ability in me has been hardwired to function rationally. Sure, there have been some emotional flops here and there but everyone has them. In my case a little more pronounced than the others. 

The reason why even in times of extreme crisis I can manage to respect, be morally grounded, be just and not be dominating is because I have been taught to be larger than just my  existence by someone who saw me through the years and embedded in me the grains of lessons, for surviving life so deep, that its a part of my system now. 

Maybe they were intentionally instilled, maybe it just passed on to me as a reflection of you. Maybe its just the genes. But all maybes end with it being sourced from you. 

Everyone has ups and downs. You have had enough and more of yours. Our family as individuals and as a unit has had aplenty. But that's the same story for everyone. We all have worries. Its perhaps the only thing constant in life. Let me tell you why these ups and downs don't worry me anymore.

 Let me take you back to a time when I was broken beyond a point where I thought I can ever be fixed. I was a wreck. I remember someone holding me with tears brimming in her eyes and telling me "I'm solidly behind you.' You have always been. Through ups and downs both. Through the ups you never stepped up to claim the credit of being with me, but through the lows, you made sure you were there for me. Through the ups you were an invisible hand, letting me take all the glory of little victories.

 Like  when you stood and clapped so gleefully as I won races and got that award. Everyone thought that it was all me. I would like to believe that it was all me who did it but that would be lying. I remember having stood in front of you and practiced my debate speech a million times before I went on stage. Those little victories had me in it of course, but, the resilience to spring back and never stay down comes from you. 

Next time anyone tells you that your upbringing has been wrong or you tell yourself that. I want you to read this and or tell yourself that no matter what choices your kids have made in life that has led to their growth or downfall, you've taught them well how to spring back to life.

And that humans are bound to make mistakes, but instead of just telling us to be careful about our choices and foresee the repercussions of it, you've made sure that when we falter we come back up as better people. 

Sure, choices and their repercussions hurt. 

I hope you can let them go for us.

I hope for my sake that you let them go because I have learnt my lessons late in life and I don't want to waste a single more second of my life making the same mistakes I made before. Nor do I want to make fresh ones.

I hope, that this new year, for the last time, you make one massive sacrifice for me and let the past go. Because I can't see a tear in your eye or handle your shaky voice when these things get to you. Because I don't want another moment in our lives to go in suffering. We've suffered enough.

 I hope that I can give you more prominent reasons to be happy for rest of our lives and as I strive towards it, I hope you can have faith and make do with the efforts that you can see me make. 

I hope that this year, the world changes around for you. I hope your stars realign. Because its unfair to see you take the brunt of things when you've given us so much more than the world can calculate or fathom......"